Big Struggle, Great Triumph
When Violet was born, it was a stressful time. Morgan was HUGE when she was pregnant with our first child, and one of the people (not Morgan's doctor) that we saw a couple weeks before the due date said that our daughter was going to be too big if we waited until the due date, we should schedule a C-section. Luckily, her doctor had mentioned before that there was just a lot of fluid, and that was part of the reason Morgan was so big.
One of my biggest fears the whole pregnancy, was that the umbilical cord would be wrapped around our daughters neck...my fear became a reality, the cord was wrapped around her neck and I didn't know what to do or think. The doctor got it off, and they took her to the table to run the tests and examine her - I was so scared. They had to take her to the NICU almost right away. Morgan didn't even get to hold her. We actually didn't have her name picked out yet, but we had it narrowed down. While we were waiting for our daughter to come back, to be able to see her again, we decided on a first name, that we had only considered as a middle name previously.
Violet
We found out that she had inhaled some stuff during birth, so she had to stay overnight. It was pretty stressful; Morgan was discharged but we couldn't even take our new baby home. This was our first child, so it was surreal to us that this was happening. We went back early the next morning, Morgan wanted to feed Violet, so we went pretty early; all of this was happening while both of us were enrolled in school. We both missed a few classes, and I was calling into work. Violet was in the NICU for three days.
We finally were able to take her home! We were so happy! She slept very well. It was the fourth night home, she was sleeping six hours at a time. We had this perfect little baby, who gave us the biggest scare at first!
At first...
At about three months old, when Violet was still rolling around on the ground, or wanting to be held, she started twitching. She would bring her arms and legs out in front of her, and her eyes would open really wide as well. We weren't sure what was happening. We thought she was in pain, it was actually so frightening that we brought her into the ER. They thought it might be an ear infection, because the symptoms were there. Violet was prescribed some antibiotics, and we were told that we could give her infant pain medicine if they continued. We waited a few days, and the twitching didn't stop. We started looking online, describing the symptoms and found some videos of other infants doing the same thing Violet was doing. We went to our pediatrician, and he confirmed that it was something neurological, and referred us to a psychologist, if you could call him that, who was in the next city over.
Frustration
He gave us medicine, that worked to quell what he was calling infantile spasms. This medicine worked for a few months, but then her spasms started up again. We started getting very frustrated because the doctor was not very communicative, he was much too busy to be giving us individualized care. At times, we would be in his office with him in his chair looking at his computer screen for 15 minutes at a time. We felt that he should be researching his case on his own time, not ours.
Freedom
We decided to get a second opinion, but had to get a recommendation from Violet's pediatrician first, which was easy. This was the best decision we had made since we decided to have Violet. The doctor at the children's hospital in Utah was amazing. He was a specialized pediatric neurologist! We LOVED the facilities, in fact, it was in the MRI waiting room that Violet really started walking! It felt like a miracle. The stress was finally going away, the seizures were in the past, the worries finally subsiding.
One of my biggest fears the whole pregnancy, was that the umbilical cord would be wrapped around our daughters neck...my fear became a reality, the cord was wrapped around her neck and I didn't know what to do or think. The doctor got it off, and they took her to the table to run the tests and examine her - I was so scared. They had to take her to the NICU almost right away. Morgan didn't even get to hold her. We actually didn't have her name picked out yet, but we had it narrowed down. While we were waiting for our daughter to come back, to be able to see her again, we decided on a first name, that we had only considered as a middle name previously.
Violet
We found out that she had inhaled some stuff during birth, so she had to stay overnight. It was pretty stressful; Morgan was discharged but we couldn't even take our new baby home. This was our first child, so it was surreal to us that this was happening. We went back early the next morning, Morgan wanted to feed Violet, so we went pretty early; all of this was happening while both of us were enrolled in school. We both missed a few classes, and I was calling into work. Violet was in the NICU for three days.
We finally were able to take her home! We were so happy! She slept very well. It was the fourth night home, she was sleeping six hours at a time. We had this perfect little baby, who gave us the biggest scare at first!
At first...
At about three months old, when Violet was still rolling around on the ground, or wanting to be held, she started twitching. She would bring her arms and legs out in front of her, and her eyes would open really wide as well. We weren't sure what was happening. We thought she was in pain, it was actually so frightening that we brought her into the ER. They thought it might be an ear infection, because the symptoms were there. Violet was prescribed some antibiotics, and we were told that we could give her infant pain medicine if they continued. We waited a few days, and the twitching didn't stop. We started looking online, describing the symptoms and found some videos of other infants doing the same thing Violet was doing. We went to our pediatrician, and he confirmed that it was something neurological, and referred us to a psychologist, if you could call him that, who was in the next city over.
Frustration
He gave us medicine, that worked to quell what he was calling infantile spasms. This medicine worked for a few months, but then her spasms started up again. We started getting very frustrated because the doctor was not very communicative, he was much too busy to be giving us individualized care. At times, we would be in his office with him in his chair looking at his computer screen for 15 minutes at a time. We felt that he should be researching his case on his own time, not ours.
Freedom
We decided to get a second opinion, but had to get a recommendation from Violet's pediatrician first, which was easy. This was the best decision we had made since we decided to have Violet. The doctor at the children's hospital in Utah was amazing. He was a specialized pediatric neurologist! We LOVED the facilities, in fact, it was in the MRI waiting room that Violet really started walking! It felt like a miracle. The stress was finally going away, the seizures were in the past, the worries finally subsiding.
I know she is having us use PQP, but suggestions on how to make it feel less like I'm telling you a story through conversation, and more like a written memoir.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Jared - I am pregnant right now and your story really struck a nerve with me. I love how you broke it into sections and the titles for those sections were well named! Your love for your wife and daughter definitely flowed out of this!
ReplyDeleteWhat was going on with Violet? Is she okay? Why did Violet seem like the perfect name after she was born?
I wonder if your story would benefit by turning into a two parter because both stories (her birth and then the medical side) are incredibly stressful and could stand alone. Also maybe using some different sentence starters might help add a little more detail and description :)
P: Jared, what a tumultuous experience you and your wife had! I do not have kids yet, so I can't image what you must have been going through. However, I do know how it feels to be constantly worried over a loved one; my father was diagnosed with cancer this summer, and was told that he has osteoporosis, when he had bone cancer.
ReplyDeleteQ: You can probably add your wife's perspective to the story (if you want to drive it in that direction). As you said, your text reads like a memoir so you can add pictures and captions to bring your experience closer to your readers.
P: I would like to see more details, and visuals.
Jared
ReplyDeleteP - I especially liked the part about picking her name. Would love to hear more about what made that name stand out in that moment. We had a very minor cord crisis during the birth of our 3rd daughter, you definitely evoked the panic and helplessness of the situation.
Q - at the end I wanted to know more! How old is Violet now? How is she doing? Did you file a formal complaint against that terrible frustrating doctor?
P - you might consider making the second paragraph the beginning of the piece and add more personal details or observations about how the doctor's/nurses handled the situation, or more about what you were thinking to really bring us in to the moment with you.